A tattered piece of napkin is fused to the formica table top creating a semi circle from where the syrup dispenser sat. Frank’s forearm is momentarily glued to the table.

Frank fishes for an ice cube from his water and begins to mop the sugary halo.

The sound of leather and metallic tapping off the chrome base of the table escalates.  Frank’s restless legs syndrome telegraphs his anxiety. 

“Okay Frank, this is just between you and I…..okay?” 

He nods yes.

“What I understand is that you can’t stop it or shut it down, you can only strap yourself in and go for the ride, you are no longer in the drivers seat. I hate to tell you this Frank. But your guardian angel is helpless and can only watch and maybe drop words of comfort and gently remind you in a sweet whisper that you are fucked my friend. You texted me that it started with awareness that your pill box organizer is not lying. Not that the medication is gone or forgotten but each container labeled with each day of the week is still full. It’s just not the loss of time but the loss of days. Is that right Frank?”

Again Frank nods yes. His hand trembles while still holding the ice cube.

“Frank, there are no magic beans here that is going to cure you. It’s a sad affair my friend. What can I do now while you are still cognitive?”

Frank’s eyes wonder over to the woman cashier as the line of customers grows while waiting for a table. He avoids eye contact with me as the truth of his situation becomes a reality. 

Frank becomes aware that he is still holding the cube of ice.

“Frank look at me, what can I do to help you?”

Franks eyes tears up. He clasps his hands so tight that his knuckles turn white. Frank doesn’t know whether to be angry or heartbroken. The tapping of his foot grows louder from underneath the table and suddenly stops. Franks face becomes blank and pale as his emotions fade away. Receding and lost in the chasm of his mind, his soul is swallowed by the blackness of thought. Frank then disappears from the table leaving me to sit alone at the restaurant.  

Have you ever walked along a shoreline, only to have your footprints washed away? That’s what Alzheimer’s is like. The waves erase the marks we leave behind, all the sand castles. Some days are better than others.
Today, I took mom for an Italian dinner and a drive around her home town of Tulsa, Oklahoma.

The wind whispers Mary, Broken pieces of yesterday life, Somewhere a queen is weeping, Somewhere a king has no wife. And, the wind cries Mary, Will the wind ever remember the names known in the past? And the wind cries Mary.  – Jimi Hendrix
 
                                     Dear Mom,
Mom and MeThis is your day, a special day and I want to share with you some really good news on this Mother’s Day.
Researchers at Queensland Brain Institute in Australia have shown that a non-invasive ultrasound technology can be used to treat Alzheimer’s disease and restore memory. This innovative, drug-free method breaks apart the neurotoxic amyloid plaques that result in memory loss and cognitive decline. It may seem to some that you have vanished  into the dark corridors of your mind. Yet, I hold on to a faint glimmer of hope that you will find the right passageway to your future and all your sweet memories.
Until that day comes don’t be embarrassed to ask where you are or who has passed away I will be your narrator to the life of a woman I call Mom.
I love you and happy Mother’s Day.